It's A Mad, Ad World

It’s A Mad, Ad World
18th October 2001

One week into my first internship and life has taken one more meandering twist.

It started on 9th October, when I visited the advertising agency to meet the Creative Director of the agency, whom I shall call Ms Tuff. There I was, dressed up in shirt, trousers and formal shoes, in an environment where a t-shirt and jeans is considered a uniform. Already slightly nervous, I found my knees trembling as I entered her office.

I later learnt that everything here is completely informal and people deal with each other on a first-name basis. In the meanwhile, she interviewed me briefly and introduced me to my bosses, the Bald and the Bellyful. And told them to "give me the odd jobs."

Hello? No comprendo. I thought I was going to be writing ad copy. At that moment, I had visions of myself carrying trays of coffee and tea and acting as a courier between various departments.

Nothing of the sort. I arrived at work the next morning and was promptly assigned a cubicle next to Desert, Impotent and Chilli Pickle. I was promptly commanded by my boss, the Bald, to study a book called Cutting Edge Advertising, by Jim Aitchison. I was to report to him after that.

My cubicle. Gorgeous. Beats the hell out of anybody else’s. It’s a desk, with a chest of drawers. The drawers contain ‘recycled’ paper, i.e. paper that has ad proofs printed on one side. These are to be used for rough scribbling. I have a white light tube light at my desk. There is a phone, to be shared by the four of us. A computer, also for the four of us. It’s a ‘copy machine’ – it has a printer, Ms Word, no graphics software and no Internet connection.

As I said, the best in cubicle technology. I now know how Dilbert feels.

In between the studying, I’ve been doing some odd jobs. My worst nightmare has come true. The world knows of my great love for tobacco and tobacco products. And there I was, working on a brand name for the new flavour of Click.

As I said, my day was made.

And then I’ve been working on a dummy assignment, branding and advertising for a Multi-Utility Vehicle. I’ve called it the WildCat. The Bald is suitably impressed by my creativity and I’m now formulating a press campaign.

Unlike my other friends, my work has been more or less limited to copywriting. That is the job specification, isn’t it? Not head of research, head of cut and paste or head clerk. The only research I’ve done is looking for some photographs to be used in a forthcoming Nerolac campaign. The Bald and the Bellyful want to submit this for awards, and there we were, Impotent and myself, doing their dirty work. All because the client was too stingy to pay for a photo shoot.

I am proud to announce that I now have brands like Click, Elle 18, Nerolac, Parachute and Planet M under my belt. I’ve written an ad (of course, in association with my immediate superior, Impotent) for the launch of Planet M, Bangalore. Besides that, I was working briefly on invites for an orgy. A job assigned to me on my first day by Palpatine and Shaolin.

I guess my decision to join a smaller agency has worked so far.

I feel really sorry for all my pals in other big agencies who are doing jobs like surveys, etc. in the name of client servicing or creative.

The atmosphere is really cool. The creative department seems to be full of mad perverts. Which is why I seem to fit in like the last piece of a jigsaw puzzle.

Desert and Impotent have been really helpful. They’ve recommended books, critically analysed my ideas, corrected my copy, explained the functioning of an agency, etc. The works.

The Bald seems to have taken fair interest in me. Even though his statement of "I’ll meet you in five minutes" translates to "See you in three hours". I guess Legs has to slip to second spot – I’ve waited longer for the Bald than for Legs.

The Bellyful seems to have an attitude problem – either he doesn’t like my face or he doesn’t like interns. It has to be the latter. My face is irresistible. He seems to want to make me run from the creative department to the studio and back all the time.

And how do I explain to him that if I run so much I will disappear completely?

The best part is that I get weekends off. Unlike some of my other friends. I also get to sleep at home every night. Unlike some other friends.

I’m still waiting my for my first overnight copywriting session. I seem to excel in doing hard work overnight, as Ads will tell you all.

That’s been my first week or so at the agency. It’s been great fun – exactly what I expected from an ad agency.

As the title of this piece implies, it’s a mad ad world.