The Art Of The Blow

The Art Of The Blow
9 April 2007
They say that relationships (romantic, platonic or imaginary) are all about learning. And I couldn't agree more.
Every relationship I've ever had has taught me something. About life, people, and myself. Trust me, I've learnt a lot - love hate, property prices, cures for dandruff, what have you.
I assume I've taught the other persons something too. At the very least, how to stomach my sense of humour (or lack thereof, as my unkindest critics would put it).
But last night, I surpassed myself as a teacher.
Slappy'd come over for dinner. So all of us, my folks included, were sitting around watching TV. And for some reason or the other, Slappy, Mom and I ended up in the kitchen, and I was whistling.
So Slappy turns and says, "I don't know how to whistle."
Here is, therefore, the crash course in whistling I put Slappy through.
1. It is essential to have your mouth in the right posture. The easiest way to get the mouth right is to smile, then pucker up, then form a small "o" with puckered lips. Plus points for those students whose lips entice the teacher into kissing them.
2. Once you have the mouth right, you must...er...blow. This comes naturally to some, but for others it's an acquired art. This is an exciting time for the student - but the climax is yet to come.
3. Once the basic blowing skills are in place, you must learn to vary the blow. Accordingly, funnel the stream of air either upwards or downwards through your lips. Each direction produces it's own unique tone.
4. To tone up further, vary the size of the "o". A wider "o" gets you a deeper pitch, a narrower "o" gets you a higher one.
5. Music is a series of sounds punctuated with silence. Continuous blowing is monotonous. So vary the blowing with tone, pitch and silence. You'll find it's far more exciting.
Ready? You're on your own.
Now that I've done both my loyal readers a favour with this instructional piece, maybe they can do me one as well.
Just tell me how do you the loud whistle with fingers in your mouth.