“Who’ll Wash All The Vehicles?” And Other Tongues Of The Slips

“Call the fridge, I’m just coming.” Slappy to me as we head for the elevator one morning.

“Call the fridge, I’ll just lock up.” Me to Slappy, shortly afterwards.

“Oh my God, I got a legal ogle!!!” Windows flashes an ‘Illegal Operation’ sign on Legal Ogle’s screen. The one that started it all, and led to her nickname.

“Who’ll wash all the vehicles?” Me to the SIMC gang in Pune after a night of drinking at my place, on noticing the kitchen sink full of dirty utensils.

“If you want to know what’s happening in my life, you should just see Facebook.” Me to Slappy. I’m still apologising.

“All these clients just love chapstick humour.” LooksGayButClaimsHeIsn’t to me during a brainstorming session.

“Hold your booby with your hand!” Slappy to me one night while trying to draw a mehendi tattoo on my arm.

“I love the glasses!” Me to Slappy. She’d said, “I love you,” I hadn’t heard, and was busy admiring the brandy glasses. On our anniversary.

For Those Tongue-Tied Moments When You Can’t Remember Someone’s Name In Conversation

Chief.

Charlie Brown (CB for short).

Sports Fan.

Scooter.

Dude.

Babe.

Sir/Sirji.

Boss.

Baba.

My Friend.

Chacha.

Sweetie/Sweetheart.

Mama.

Wanker.

Macha.

Bro.

My Dear.

Champ.

James.

Hero.

Paaji.

He/You/She.

Uncle.

Auntie.

Rajnikant.

Rockstar.

Madam.

Pal.

(Sure beats going, “Um…er…um…”, doesn’t it?)

Things That Make Me Go Jumping Up And Down With Glee

Coming up with a great idea for a campaign. Coming up with it before anyone else.

Pamela Anderson in her red swimsuit jumping up and down for whatever reason.

Winning a hand in poker. Better yet, winning the whole game.

Ok, winning at Cluedo even.

Fine. Winning. Period.

Good drive-time music.

Winning an Effie Gold. Ahead of those stupid so-and-sos at the agency in black.

The thought of owning a Kindle. (Hint, hint.)

Eating at All Stir-Fry.

Coming up with the stupid ideas that you read on this blog.

Watching Star Wars. Any of them. Anytime. Anywhere.

Annoying my wife.

Annoying her friend Fancy Joint.

Annoying people in general.

Especially with my patented, copyrighted, one-in-a-million sense of humour.

And, finally, getting my wireless, broadband, 512 kbps Internet connection up and running after a week without it. All on my own, even. I’m a rockstar.

P.S. Thanks to Mrs. Foot for some timely and funny contributions to this post.

A Few Stray Thoughts

A Few Stray Thoughts
Monday, 19 February 2007
At the sagai of Underwater Man and the Drunken Painting Poet. The ceremonies are over, and now the dhols are in full swing. And I'm wondering what the dholakias' album will sound like.
At the launch interview with the MTV VJ. VJ asks - So tell us, what inspired your hit song, Beat Number 1?
Dholakias - The emotions and energy of a wedding.
VJ - And your second big hit, Beat Number 11?
Dholakias - The emotions and energy of a wedding.
I can just see them going double platinum.
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On 26th Jan, Slappy relapsed into malaria. It was a long weekend, and her roommates were out of town. So I brought her home to convalesce.
So we're sitting and watching Sex and The City, when it occurred to me that I didn't want to wait too much longer to enjoy such moments every night.
So I asked her to marry me.
On Republic Day, i surrendered my independence. Surprisingly, I'm loving it.
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We've heard of bazoombas (ref. SWB), booty, assets, booby traps, etc. Today I will add a new word for the same - babootas.
Would you believe that's the surname of a family in Kanpur?
Or, as Doc uses it, a polite alternative to ch******a.
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I'm finally moving off the baby brand I handle.
I mean, having clients who refer to their lead copywriter as Mother gets too much sometimes.
Finally I can give my testosterone a chance to recover.
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Been wondering how to write my next post after so much time off the air. How to apologise to my millions of regular readers (all three of them).
Finally, I just refused to.
I'm back!