One Bright Thursday Afternoon

One Bright Thursday Afternoon
10th October 2005
This post is dedicated to all those people who helped me through a rough period in life. Especially to my best friend, on her birthday. Happy birthday!!! - FITM
It was a usual, hectic Thursday afternoon at the agency.

In the post-prandial sleepiness, I was sitting with Kiddo (one of my art directors), Dressy (my new trainee) and Secret Agent Man (servicing), discussing the latest press brief.

I was looking down at the brief, hearing the suit drone on and on, when I saw something in the corner of my eye. Or, rather, someone.

Sweetie.

There she was, outside my cubicle. Entering the conference room with some of our servicing people (downstairs folks, don’t know ‘em, don’t wanna).

She’d seen me too. And then she looked straight into my eyes.

I didn’t need to work too hard on my expression. Surprisingly.

She couldn’t hold my eyes for long. Not surprisingly. She just ducked her head, turned away and entered the conference room. With what seemed like a slightly guilty expression on her face.

I was sitting there in shock. One half of my brain was still talking about babies and nappies. The other half was numb.

But not as numb as I’d expected.

I’ve been preparing myself for this day since January. Since the last time we spoke, I’ve waited for the inevitable. The day we’d bump into each other again.

I’d always expected it to happen around Bandra, considering the amount of time I spend there these days. Or around Lower Parel, where her office is. But not in my office. Not in my territory.

What made it even more shocking is that my bosses – the Silent Assassin and Scary – were just asking about her and our break-up about half an hour before.

How’d that conversation begin? Well, it began with my all-new Nokia 7710. The smart(est)phone. Widescreen, touch screen, office applications, internet browser, email, music player, radio, everything. The coolest thing ever. The one piece of technology I’ve fallen in love with.

But I digress.

Silent Assassin asked me to show him my phone. I was sitting in their cabin taking him through it, when I told him the price (Rs. 23,000). He joked that my girlfriend would feel deprived, that I was spending too much on phones and too little on her.

Now, nobody in the office knows about Slappy and me. So I lied. What girlfriend boss? We broke up a long time back.

Silent Assassin was shocked. He’d met Sweetie in Pune during the college fest. Seen that things were serious. Didn’t know we’d split. Even Scary came to know only in April, during that drunken office bash.

And here she is, half an hour later, parading up and down in front of my cubicle.

To tell the truth, I’d always wondered how I’d handle the day. What would I tell her, how would I treat her.

I got my answer. And I didn’t even have to tell her anything.

The first thing I did was SMS Slappy, who was out of town on a research. She was zapped – asked if I was disturbed. And I told her truthfully, "Not as much as I thought I’d be." The first sign that I was way over Sweetie.

Then I called Minty, just told her what happened. Asked her if it was normal to be disturbed. She said, yes. It’s the first time I was seeing my ex, obviously I would be a little taken aback. But she assured me the next time I saw her I’d be fine. She was right.

I went down to get a massage (another one of our HR department’s cool initiatives). And came back sleepy, relaxed and not bothered about Sweetie.

Plunged back into work like nothing had ever happened. Even when she stepped out it didn’t disturb me to see her. It obviously disturbed her – she studiously avoided eye contact every time she passed my cubicle.

I could be very mistaken about the communication between us that day. She may not have read my expression the way I wanted it to be read. But that’s irrelevant. Because as much as I was talking to her, I was talking to myself.

What was on my face? Nothing. Nothing but ice-cold rejection.

Which (in my mind) told her to go jump in a lake. That she’d lost me completely – nay, thrown me away. That I was strong enough to bounce back. To get my life back into shape without her. That I was better off without her.

What it told me was that I was completely past her. Took all my lingering doubts, and erased them completely.

That’s when I rejoiced. I was bouncing all over the place that evening and the next day. Slappy was surprised to see me like this.

What Slappy knows but doesn’t realise is that she’s been a major part of the transformation. The revertal to my old self. The moving on.

She took a chance with me. And so far, it’s paid off.

I’m glad in a way that this happened. It’s gonna change things with Slappy too. I’ve always wondered what was holding me back from committing myself fully with her...we discussed it a few days later, and I think it was my past.

Well, my past’s behind me. And I’m going to make up for lost time with Slappy. The change is already taking place – I can feel it. I’m not afraid of giving myself to someone completely.

All this time I’ve been moving on from Sweetie. But whenever I looked back, I could see her standing there.

But one bright Thursday morning, I walked on and turned a corner.

And she began to slowly disappear from sight.