Tangoing Solo

Tangoing Solo
30th March 2002

It's finally here. The last post of season one. In the next few days, I will start uploading season two. Watch this space.

It’s spring. And, as the metaphor goes, young men’s (and women’s) fancies have turned to love.

The disease began with Minty. The guy she’s had a crush on for a while now called her and the two of them confessed to ‘having feelings’ for each other. So she runs down to Bombay to meet him and everything is hunky-dory.

Did I mention that the only reason she told him about her emotions was because I’ve been drilling it into her ears for months now?

And now – the shocker. It seems that Senorita and Mallu have been seeing each other – for a month! Holy Smoking Mackerels, Batman! The people who knew – obviously – were Bunny and Minty. The news was delivered to me this morning by Senorita – and it’s taken me till now to get over my astonishment.

It seems I’m always the last to know.

I guess that’s why I’m feeling so low these days. For the last week or so I have been longing to return home. The two people I’m missing the most in the world right now are Legs and my sweetheart. I haven’t met Legs in six months – and I haven’t spent as much time with my sweetheart as I’d have liked to.

It’s an awful feeling of loneliness that seems to have gripped me right now. The reasons are manifold. A few weeks ago the gang showed that they could ditch me without a second thought, as they took off for The Lord of the Rings without me. After I had decided not to go the previous day because Mallu was ill. They’ve since apologised, we’ve kissed and made up – but…

Groper’s my best friend here. But it seems that whenever we’re together I’m consoling her about her problems with her boyfriend – whom I’ll call Fat Breasted Woman (FBW). She’s got him and that seems to be top priority.

Senorita and Mallu. Bunny, Ads, Minty, Guzzler, Evil Man and the rest of the gang. Excluding me. It seems I never know what, where, when and why they do something. Part of the reason is that I live at a considerable distance from them – but they don’t seem to make an effort either.

My best friend is busy working and trying to sort out her problems with DJ. Consequently she has no time. As I said earlier, Legs is basically out of touch. And my sweetheart is extremely busy at work and being futilely pursued by a lovelorn man.

While I’m very happy for the couples, there’s always a twinge of sadness when I hear about two people getting together. It sort of reminds me that nobody has ever felt that way about me. When I was in love with Legs, she never reciprocated. I don’t think I’ll ever fully get over that. And now, with my sweetheart, she’s blissfully ignoring the idea that I might have fallen for her charms.

The closest I came was with Smelly and it turned out she’s sleeping with our Deputy Director. That’s why things ended the way they did. Our entire relationship was based on falsehood – a puff of smoke.

I don’t know when my number will come up in the game of romance. They say that good things come to those who wait. Hello up there! 21 years without anyone falling in love with me – wassup, dude?

And only my sweetheart knows something of what I’m feeling – and that’s only because I called her. Groper doesn’t know – I don’t want to saddle her with my illogical problems. Bunny doesn’t know either. Shivvy Dee has been incommunicado, aside from the occasional hello. My best friends in this Godforsaken place are out of my loop – for the moment at least.

I’m tangoing solo. Waltzing, dancing in the dark, waiting for someone to join me. It’s not a good feeling. I know I’ve been a loner all my life, but I have changed in the last four years.

Time for my situation to change. Mera number kab aayega?