What's In A Nickname?

What’s In A Nickname?
31st March 2006

The single, greatest fallout of the Internet era isn’t about communication.

It isn’t about bringing two lovers separated by three oceans together. Or about facilitating commerce between Antarctica and Jhoomritalaiya. Or even about titillating millions the world over.

It’s about anonymity. And the creativity that anonymity gives rise to.

In a nutshell, it’s about identities.

Log on to MSN Messenger and you’ll know what I mean. Where Raju from Ramgarh becomes Ravishing Racer Dude.

It’s so amazing how everybody tries to outdo the other in nickname creativity. I mean, ordinary names are sooooo boring. Here, online, we can have some fun.

I’ve had two major MSN identities. Both inspired by the films I love.

The first was Master Yoduh. The Jedi Master was born in the months leading up to the release of The Revenge Of The Sith. And, like his namesake, backwards spoke he.

It wouldn’t be unusual to see my nick reading: “Busy Am I Today With Work.” Or, “Paid Under Am I, Worked Over Also.”

Deciphering the true meaning of my nickname was a challenge my friends grew to hate. Slappy kept going, “Oh God!” To which I kept responding, “The Force, May It Be With You.”

Or Legs, who simply started to talk backwards to me. “Went I Out For Dinner Last Night.” Or, “Hate You I Do, For Out-Of-Touch So-And-So Are You.”

The daily (sometimes hourly) nickname changed according to mood, workload, or sheer boredom. And was accompanied by a cartoon of a determined-looking Yoda, complete with lightsaber (accessories not included).

Hit As Much Though Was Yoduh, Too Complicated Was It Understandable To Be.

And after growing tired of mangling the English language, I discovered my next identity. Which stemmed from my favourite superhero, and my own swelling ego.

I donned the chaddi over my trousers, and became SuperbMan.

Complete, may I add, with the famous ‘S’ symbol.

The code was clear. I am the Ambitious Avenger, the Caped Crusader (I even went back in time and trademarked that phrase – and the other superheroes had to pay me for its use), the Invincible Idiot, the Weary Warrior, what-have-you.

Ads and briefs became the criminals I fought. My current battle is with Taklu Teli – Slappy will understand – and the Mutant BaggageMan.

And by day I am a mild-mannered advertising man.

It’s caught on. At least three people call me Superman regularly. I need to explain to them – the ‘b’ is very important. Superman was merely invincible. I, on the other hand, am the epitome of manhood.

Then Slappy gifted me the ‘S’ t-shirt and matching keychain. I have battled “criminals” in this uniform, and sent colleagues into smothered peals of laughter at the sight.

My desktop is artwork from the to-be-released Superman V.

Now for the other interesting nicknames I’ve seen.

Doc’s nicknames reflect what he’s up to currently. “Anasthusia”. Or “On Strike”. Or “Allied Postings, No More Emergencies, Woohoo!”

Slappy’s nicknames are more abstract. “But Why?” “Do You Mind?” They used to be a rejoinder to my nicknames (which used to be secret communications to her), but eventually she too gave up and surrendered to SuperbMan.

Legs is irregular. This time it’s “Cat-zapped”. Or something of the ilk.

My best friend is the simplest. Just her name, in lower-case. And the most boring too.

Milee uses a lot of emoticons. “Back At Home – Happy Smiley.” Or “Sick Smiley” for the last few days.

My former trainee, Brashmouth, calls himself “Random”. The suffix talks about his new IPod, or exams, or soccer, or Goa, or whatever else is happening in his life.

Guzzler is advertising his blog address. Which hasn’t been updated in a while.

While Lefty has a nick reading, “Omygod they killed Kenny”. Who’s Kenny dude?

It just gets weirder and weirder.

Just like the battles SuperbMan fights.