Love's Labour Lost

I'm starting off with the earliest FeetITM. Once I've gone through these, I'll upload the current season. Enjoy...

Love’s Labour Lost
3rd May 2001

Something’s happened. Something that has just changed my life – for better or worse, I know not – something that still has me stunned.

It all started when I met her. Long legs, cute smile and an attitude to match. Total chemistry. And then, on the 19th of April, at about 1.15 AM, after a conversation I later realised was aimed at pulling me out of a confused shell, I had my first kiss.

I really am amazed at her bravado. Most girls are quite terrified at the idea of engaging in lip-lock with yours truly.

Anyway, I am not going to blather on about how I was manipulated, or how great it felt, or how far we have gone. That is really none of your business.

A few nights later, on what has now become part and parcel of my routine, we decided to enjoy our newfound passion at Worli. To be more specific, Worli Sea Face. We landed up there around 12.30 AM, and had just begun to relax, when our friendly neighbourhood Pandu havaldar showed up.

Not in any mood to understand that I was being trained at the hands – or should I say lips? – of a master, he irritably waved us off. Shades of Navalkar and Swaraj? We didn’t bother to find out, but sped back to the locale of our first experience together – Nariman Point.

We’ve just realised how lucky we were that night. For the only person who could have spiked our wheels was a sleepy watchman, who we later figured was enjoying a show. He must have gotten bored later – we did get monotonous to watch. I must add here that we did have a lovely time – the babe’ll probably kick me if I suggest otherwise.

The other night, we proceeded on our nightly jaunt. Drove into Nariman Point quite confidently, only to find it blockaded. By a fleet of taxicabs. Gun-runners and lovers, beware! Overwhelmed by sheer force of numbers, we beat an honourable retreat, to kiss another night.

But two young people with active hormones are not to be denied. We then decided to explore Colaba, and damn near got lost around Navy Nagar. No secluded khopcha here either. We then proceeded to get lost somewhere around Mantralaya, where we were able to spend a few precious moments together. Ably guarded by the watchfully lusty eyes of a couple of cabbies and a watchman.

And we have no idea where to go the next time around. What with the idea that public displays of affection are contrary to Indian culture, couples around town have nowhere to go when feeling even slightly amorous. So, in the best interest of love – and me and the babe – I compile a list of a few possible late night hangouts around South Mumbai.

• The little lane near the National Centre for the Performing Arts (NCPA), outside Ashoka Hall. The dogs put a spanner in the works – I think they expect to be allowed to go at it in total privacy.
  
• The bylanes around Mantralaya. With watchmen and cabbies always hanging around to give budding exhibitionists an extra thrill.
  
• The area near Hanging Gardens and Café Naaz, provided there ain’t too much traffic coming through. A lovely view, hopefully no cops.
  

Chowpatty beach, at Rs. 15 an hour. However, one – two – cannot go too far. Get more adventurous than a hug and you are promptly warned. The heat could also be detrimental to romantic interests and stripping to stay cool may lead to temporary internship in a city gaol.

I haven’t been in this relationship long enough to explore the underbelly of our oh-so-liberal city completely. If you know a few spots around South Mumbai where one – two – can canoodle in peace, please be kind enough to let us know. The babe and I will be extremely grateful.

Which leaves me with one stray thought. Navalkar and the ilk hate kissing in public. Wonder if he’d allow us to use his guest bedroom…